The best headlines from recent years (these actually appeared) from a newspaper clipping Mischa had on his dorm door at the Univ. of Chicago:
Drunk Gets Nine Months in Violin Case
Never Withhold Herpes Infection From Loved One
Iraqi Head Seeks Arms
Panda Mating Fails;
Veterinarian Takes Over
British Left Waffles on Falkland Islands
Eye Drops Off Shelf
Enraged Cow Injures Farmer With Ax
Plane Too Close to Ground,
Crash Probe Indicates
Miners Refuse to Work After Death
Study Finds Sex, Pregnancy Link
Stolen Painting Found by Tree
Two Sisters Reunited After 18 Years in Checkout Line
If Strike Isn't Settled Quickly,
It May Last a While
Red Tape Holding Up Bridges
Local High School Dropouts Cut in Half
Hospitals Are Sued by 7 Foot Doctors